My first day back here, I met some new friends through John, my tall, frisbee-wielding, bathrobe-wearing, guitar-playing pranking buddy. One of them, Aaron, is big on walking around randomly at night, which, wouldn't you know it, is one of my favorite things to do. I am very deprived of this simple pleasure of life when I am home, as my family thinks walking around at night is sketchy. In Coho. Rofl.

The first night I got back, we took a walk down Grapevine and found a sign for a cemetery I'd never known existed. We both decided we were up for an adventure and followed the signs to this lovely open field, which narrowed into a drive, which narrowed into a tree-lined path with no streetlights. Said path was peppered with cold spots. Reeeeeally creepy. Then we got to the actual "cemetery," and it was like, three headstones, one of them with a candle in front of it that I tried to convince us both was a will o' the wisp, and a random house. Yeah, not such an adventure anymore. It was exciting for those first five or ten minutes though.

Last night was more exciting. Sarah, a.k.a. "Taz," came with us this time. We walked all the way into the next town (but when I say ALL the way, I really mean that it took us about 15 minutes to get there). We were on the lookout for another adventure, but all we found were houses. Then we came to an intersection that had a couple of little islands in the middle of it, and Aaron goes, "Wouldn't it be funny to hide in those bushes on the island and jump out at oncoming cars?" And I go, "Yeah! Great idea!" Sarah was just like, "oh Lord.... I'll be over there...."

So Aaron and I crouched behind this bush and waited for a car, then jumped up, waving our arms around like lunatics. Mind you, we didn't actually go out in the street or ANYTHING. But this car STOPS, and the two of us choose the darkest looking street and take off down it. It was hard to tell what the car was doing, but it definitely looked like it was pulling around the island to follow us. I thought we were doomed. I thought they were going to call the cops on us. I don't know what I thought. It's not like we actually did anything bad, but this is the way my mind works under pressure, apparently.

Tonight it was me, John and Aaron going spooning. Which is not exactly what it sounds like. Sorry to disappoint. I know all two of my readers were hoping for a little more drama than this. Spooning is simply a euphemism for "pranking." First we took all the plastic spoons from the dining hall, a daring feat since it was earlier than we usually go spooning and there were still lots of people around. John and I discussed staging a hold-up at Denny's to get spoons next time. It might have been more subtle. (We also talked about spray painting spoons with neon paint and sticking them out of his head like a peacock, but we'll leave that one alone.)

Then we make the trek to Woodland, which somehow doesn't seem half as long when you're not actually going to your car. We stuck a spoon under the windshield wiper of every car there. Or almost every. We would have gotten them all if John hadn't put like 10 in this Jeep that was wide open to the world, but it was worth it: he put spoons on the windshield, all four seats, the steering wheel, and the spare tire. Four of them on the spare tire. It was hilarious.

I always wish I could see people's reactions to our little pranks, but alas, our work tends to get undone by the Go-Po before anyone can appreciate it. I think this one might actually get people talking though. I just want to hear ONE person reference it in passing. Just one.

My sister and I went to Derby Street so I could buy a book for school and an unbirthday present for Trisha. Then my dad came and met up with us for dinner. On the way home, my dad was ahead of me most of the way. I was glad of this because I hate driving in front of my parents. I feel like they'll judge my driving. He was going kind of fast, and I started to worry that he was testing me, like if I kept up then he'd lecture me about going too fast or something. Finally I lost him at a stop sign and I just sort of let him get ahead. But then I went by this turn-around spot by the side of the road, and he was pulled over in it, waiting for me to go by. I was like ohhhhh shoot. Now he's going to follow me to make sure I don't speed. *Slows down even more.* Then I lost him, and I started to wonder what exactly he thought he was doing.

Turns out he noticed the car behind me tailing me. I didn't, because I'm used to people being that close behind me, since I drive relatively slow for a Massachusetts driver. Well, he started tailing that person so close that the guy pulled over and got out of the car and started yelling at him. My dad was like "Oh yeah? Well YOU were tailgating that person." The guy kept denying it. My dad finally goes, "Look, that's my daughter, all right? And if I have to get out of this car, it will not be pretty. So get in your car, and drive away, and stop tailing people."

Recap of the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival.....

First of all, I clearly suck at driving on the highway. I got lost like 5 times by either not taking the right exit, or taking an exit I wasn't supposed to because instead of just the right lane becoming an off-ramp, TWO lanes turned into the off-ramp. But we still got there really early enough to wait in line in the scorching sun with all the truly individual metal-heads wearing their trip pants and chains. I counted a grand total of ONE scene kid, ONE emo, and a few randoms who looked too normal to even be in attendance.

We finally got in, and someone gave us a line-up of all the bands playing all the stages. First of all, this thing was clearly NOT as big a deal as the Warped Tour. There were only 3 stages, and they rotated the bands so that if you were there, congratualtions, you got to listen to every band play whether you liked them or not! Unfortunately for us, the first seven or eight bands were terrible. We put in our earplugs but honestly it didn't help that much. The volume blew Warped Tour out of the water. I felt worse for Robby because at least I occasionally listen to music that involves screaming, but he can't stand it, and those first 3-4 hours were entirely screaming. We amused ourselves by watching people do pull-ups at the Marines stand and watching about three minutes of BMX biking.

Then we got excited because we heard a melody line, and we went to go watch that band for a little while. I think they were called Black Tide. Then some replicas of Limozeen (or Kiss, according to Robby) played at the next stage, and that was also a fun set. I was surprised to see that the crowds were not as out of control as I had expected. I noticed a really intense pit going on during the very first set, before we had figured out how bad the music was going to be, but even during UnderOath, not much was happening, and my roommate from last year told me their crowds are insane. I was excited to get to see Aaron Gillespie (drummer of UnderOath). He had used tape to write "Pig" on his bass drum (his nickname is Piglet). This made me laugh. The good thing is, I can cross seeing them off my list of things to do before I die. Sadly, I can also tell everyone else I know to cross it off of their lists of things to do before they die, because it was a terrible set. Maybe if you're a fan of that stuff... I really only know like 2 1/2 songs by them, and they didnt play any of those. The other thing we discovered during those few sets, is that Rockstar Energy Drink smells TERRIBLE, especially in large, slightly-warm quantities. Urrrrgghhh.

Dragonforce was nothing special in concert; they basically sounded like their recordings but with less effects on the voice. I mean, the fact that they kept up their relentless pace was impressive, but the show was nothing thrilling. What I really wanted was that thumping bass feel you get in your gut when you're at a show. I had felt it a little bit when Robby cranked their music the day we decided to buy tickets, but the show disappointed me. Maybe because the GA tix i bought were only for the lawn, which is as far away as you can get from the stage. No wonder I couldn't feel the bass.

Surprisingly, Disturbed played the best set of the day. We left halfway through it to miss the traffic, but we got a good taste of it. They really got the crowd going. I didn't know any of their songs, but it was entertaining because they brought the singer out on a stretcher or something like that. The lighting was also very impressive. It meant that even though we were too far away to see the band's faces, which is a rarity for me, it still gave the vibe of being at a show. I would've stayed for the whole set if not for the memory of how bad traffic was getting out of the Warped Tour. There was NO ONE leaving as early as us, probably because everyone went to see Slipknot, the last band to play. I couldn't even FIND the way out because nobody bothered to put up any arrows to direct people out of the parking lot. Dumb.

Today was my last day at work. Robby managed to break a fluorescent lightbulb on his head and we/his dad spilled a ton of ink in this bin. That was all right since we were trashing the ink AND the bin, but I was really worried about Robby's head. I told him that if he falls asleep while we're at Gill's tonight, I'm waking him up every couple hours to ask him things like his phone number and address to make sure he doesn't have a concussion. But he just got mad at me. Gah, boys. Anyway, this will be his first all-nighter, so I hope it turns out to be fun. It's raining now but I'm hoping it'll let up and we can go to the beach or the playground. We're gonna work on our stories, play video games (DDR, GH, or Pokemon Snap), make pizzookie (hopefully! *fat kid at heart*), and pay an early-morning visit to the Dunkies down the street. Should be good times. But schneckle-free: Robby is very fond of his personal bubble.

My room has become, like, the conquest of the spiders. Perhaps not quite as epic as Gill's telling of a similar story along the lines of The Spiders of Sparta, only because I haven't found more than two or three in a day. But uhhh, they seem to have invaded my room. Not the basement; they've always been there. Now they've infiltrated the place where I work, lounge, and worst of all, sleep: My freaking BEDROOM.

Jibbliejibbliejibblie....

Come ON, guys. Play fair.

So my mom and I moved all the furniture and vacuumed all the dust in hopes of scaring them into retreat. I hope it doesn't just anger their vast, octoleggy empire. I can almost hear their tiny armies forming in the cracks of the walls now.... They'll wait for the lights to go out........ Then, with their nunchucks and chain mail, they will strike. Because apparently spider ninjas wear chain mail. That must make stealth quite the challenge. Hmmm.... Maybe I DO stand a chance. Better arm myself with that stack of AP back-issues and a box of kleenex.

Other than the spiders, absolutely nothing happened today. I am sick of trying to make plans with people of the male persuasion. They fail. And fail. And fail again. Do they ever grow out of it? I honestly don't think so. And speaking of being baffled by men in general, I can't figure out my dad. When he got home, he seemed to be in a good mood. Then he told me to wax my car. I've never waxed a car, and I was thinking, "I don't know how... or where we keep that sort of thing.... But mom said he wished he could spend more time with me...." So I asked if he'd like to help me. And he was like "Um... No." But not just a no. More of a SHUT DOWN! kind of no. Ummmmmmmm...kay? "I'm not into washing cars. Just go to a car wash," he told me, rather shortly, I thought. Then I went upstairs. Ten minutes later I came down for a drink and he was going on about wanting to buy a power washer so we could wash ALL the cars. What????

Ahhh, moving right along.

Oh yes. While I'm thinking about it, go watch the new episode of TAITV. It's pretty funny. Here are some highlights.

"The Butcher? Why are there so many bands?"
"I don't know, Sisky."

"If I don't film you, it doesn't exist! Does that make sense?!?"

"I AM GOING TO FIND MICHAEL GUY CHISLETT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!!"

And on that note, I should stop putting off working on my book. I'm so lame. At this rate I'll have to hire a slave-driver if I ever want to make any progress on this thing.

SOME GUY i LAUGHED AT
a Strong Badlib

The other day I was at Saturn eating Saints when out of nowhere came this brave guy. I could tell he had serious face problems from the get-go. His groin/ovaries was all tall and stank like William Beckett. A jello was hanging out of his pants. He fell down in a puddle of Life cereal. I laughed my snot off.

THE WAR WALRUS
A STRONG MADLIB

ALL HAIL MANDERZ, THE WAR WALRUS. ONCE EVERY -2 YEARS HE IS FREED FROM HIS PRISON IN THE THE WEATHER GUY ZONE. HE WILL BRING SOCKS AND EYEBROWS TO THE PEOPLE OF MURFREESBORO. WITH HIS MIGHTY BUNNY IN HAND HE WILL BURNINATE YOU ALL. IN ORDER TO BE SPARED YOU MUST LEAVE A PAPAYA UNDER YOUR WEENIS. ONLY THEN WILL MANDERZ RAZE YOU.

Dead Flowers
A Strong Sadlib

I rejoice in the dark. Where am I? Where is my milkshake? Deflated. Phantoms make tacos in the night. I am alone. I float like your face.

A Boy Named Fat Kid
A Strong Sadlib

Once there was a boy named Gabe. Nobody at the Reese Roper Elementary School liked him. They hated him and faded on him and called him mustache. Once they even put voluptuous chinchillas in his underpants. He told the teachers but they just made fun of his armpit. There was a girl named Sarah that thought he was cute but she bubbled fuzzy dandelions. Gabe was very Bachelder that day. But then one day he got delicious and everybody liked him. But then he found out they were kidding and really making a squirrel out of him. He devoured some more. He is still a pajamas today.

You smell like a donut.
I hope there are big blankies full of rejected flowers.
Vengeful girls will cry out my name.

The template...... http://www.homestarrunner.com/stronglibs.html
Random words inserted by..... me and Sarah.

Today I made an easter egg that says, "Happy Zombie Jesus Day!" Oh man, it just bled on me... shoot.

Inspired by this:


And looking a little something like this:







The ba-freakin-nana awesome bread was the most a-freakin-mazing thing I've ever freakin tasted. And yes, it was that freakin good to merit three uses of the word "freakin" in one sentence.

Clearly I have too much fun in the dining hall. Aside from the ice cream shots, I also ninja-snatch the rubber gloves by the sandwich line every time I want to dye my hair.

I'm posting random things because I'm ridiculously bored because my 11:25 class got spontaneously cancelled when the professor decided not to show up because of the stomach flu, and didn't really give anyone any advance warning. So I could be doing something productive now, but instead, I'm not. Haha Andrew adapted my statement the other day as the summary of his life: "I was going to take a walk earlier, but then I fell asleep." Too true.

I'm bummed because I have nothing to do this weekend. Most of my friends have made plans not involving me or are having visitors that I do not know. I wanted to go to Gill's party, but transportation is an issue, and she can't get the car at all this weekend, so that makes things difficult. Something about the apartment becoming a tundra, I don't know. She and everyone at her birthday party tonight were going to come up to my school and spend the night, which would have been sick-nasty or something like that, but again, the car was not available and no one else going wanted to drive all the way here. Hmm. I want to watch StrongBad e-mails. That was random. I was thinking about Teen Girl Squad. I don't know. I'm tired okay? It hurt trying to get out of bed this morning. The music that is my alarm clock hurt. I was going to get up before 8 and do sit-ups. Didn't happen. Why wasn't I this tired when I should have been going to bed last night? I was totally amped and awake until one-ish.

Haha soooo speaking of last night. I went to help film some interviews and such for Golden Goose, which, in a nutshell, is the Mr. Skipper of Gordon College - i.e., boys' talent show. It's supposed to be a riot. As a freshman, I've never been, but I don't doubt this. It was funny though, because most of the people I work with at Go-film are guys, and, of course, all of the contestants in the male talent show were, you guessed it, male. Basically I saw like one other female the whole time I was there. And it made me laugh. I won't reveal any of the things we filmed, because they're probably supposed to be top secret. But I will say that we got some great interview footage, and boys, your choreographed dance moves look fantastic.

I would like a hug, please. I totally miss random cuddle-fests. How come no one cuddles around here? Except for boys with boys and girls with girls, and not because we're all flaming homosexuals, just because... I have no idea why. But there are not that many gay people at my Christian liberal arts school.

This is in response to Gill's comment on my last post. For some reason I can't get it to post as a reply. If you are not Gill, you can ignore this.

i definitely want to make it the next big thing around here.

boo, get your own format. because the cute little grim reaper is not up for public use. hahaha and by that i mean that i got it from the free layouts page. ^_^

my 11:25 class got cancelled. i have until 1. maybe i'll do my hair now. except sarah wanted to do hers, too. but i kind of want people to see it before it fades, and no one will see it this weekend.

[/end reply to Gill's comment on my last post.]


Hooray! I am going to lunch. I have a lunch buddy! How exciting!! =D

That word can take on a lot of meanings, now that I look at it again. It could, for instance, be one of my biggest fears - I've passed out from shots twice in the past year, and I thought I got over my needle-phobia years ago. Or it could mean booze. Of some sort. Or it could mean basketball, or soccer, or riflery, or any of those other sports involving aim. Or it could mean that time at Chili's with Gill and Cara and my mom, when we got the mini-desserts in shot glasses.

Or it could be the coolest thing I've done all week. Tonight after dinner, my friend and I went over to get some fro-yo (that's Gordon-speak for frozen yogurt; we've got a sweet machine that you crank the fro yo out of and it's probably the best thing in the entirety of Lane, the dining hall). Next to the regular dishes and cones was a stack of those little cups you put ketchup in. I'm sure you can see where this is going. We put the fro yo in the ketchup cups, put sprinkles on it, and got it weighed and paid for it. I wonder how much it actually cost. Probably like, two cents. We tried to keep straight faces but it failed oh-so-badly. I think the funniest thing was that we were totally joking, and some people who walked by us while we were pumping the fro yo went, "Wow! That is SUCH a good idea!" Ahahahaha. I want credit when the entirety of Gordon starts doing ice cream shots after meals.

The assignment was to write a nursery rhyme for children. (So please, no disparaging comments about my being "too happy.") My professor and Bryce both said it was very Shel Silverstein-esque. I'm thinking that's probably a good thing. ^_^


“Joel the Troll”

In China, on a grassy knoll,
There lives a grouchy man named Joel.
He hides, for he is squat and lean,
Amid a grove of kumquat trees.

Mom says, “Beware that nasty troll!
He eats old nails right from a bowl
Like tubs of milkless Cap’n Crunch
For breakfast, dinner, snack, and lunch!”

His hair is poufy like a lamb,
His odor like a can of Spam.
His teeth are yellow, ears protrude,
His filthy nails would make you swoon.

But Joel has not a soul to hug.
He can’t escape the hole he’s dug
For no one trusts him, bird nor elf.
He eats those nails all by himself.

That’s why he’s grouchy, understand.
He needs a friend to hold his hand.
He needs a smile sent his way.
A cheerful laugh would make his day.

So when you see him, don’t be shy.
He really wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Instead of walking right on past,
Make a point of waving back!


I produced these ones in class with another student. The first is about the nasty sewage smell that always seems to materialize outside of the dining hall, making me not really want to eat (along with the consistent use of the word "encrusted" on the menu). The second is about the misery of walking around campus when it's raining because the sidewalks flood.

"Lane Sewage"

No one at Gordon knows what they're hidin',
but whatever it is, it reeks of Poseidon.
It's eating my brain!
It's worst when it rains.
This stench has quenched my hopes of dinin'.

"An Ode to Galoshes"

When it rains, it pours, and Gordon floods.
The quad is filled with puddles of mud.
God opened the heavens.
There's a river by Evans,
where some freshmen fell down with a thud.

I love that I just made fun of freshmen, and I am one. XD

My assignment for Friday is to write a poem using these four words: chocolate, earth, Mary, uranium. This will be fun.