Last night I went to the Apple store to pick up my compy after 3 days in the Apple ER. It was wonderful to be reunited. =) The lappy has a new face now (but it's just as pretty as ever). Oh, and because it got resurrected after three days at the Apple store, the compy's new name is Jesus, pronounced the Spanish way. That is all.

Actually, I lied. That is not all. Three days without LJ at my fingertips left me with a few other things to say.

In my class about tutoring (the point of which is to prepare students to work at the writing center), my professor asked us to compare the way we write to something in nature. So I wrote:

"When I am given a new writing assignment, I tend to look at it like a dandelion gone to fuzz, and I am the wind, or perhaps the curious child, that scatters the seeds in a thousand different directions. All of these seeds have potential to land, take root, and grow. My ideas, too, can go in a hundred directions when I first start to write. I, like the wind, must choose one, carry it to its destination, and watch as the flower unfolds. The result is not a weed, but something with a raw and honest beauty to it; something wild, yet cultivated with intentional and intimate thought." So if you ever wondered how I do it.... Now you know: Drugs. ^_^

And now, drumroll please...... I have more randomtastic, tripped out, fuzzalicious dreams to share with all y'alls!

The other night I dreamed that The Academy Is... came to my school for some reason. I don't think they played a show; they were just there. I ran into Billvy. Sarah Mac and Trisha were with me. The four of us walked around campus, talking and goofing off. I told Billvy that I wanted to be in TAITV for saying the dedication to Adam T. Siska (which Sarah and I had talked about right before I went to sleep). Then Billvy wanted to take silly pictures of each other, so we did.

Then the scene changed and we were in a mall. I don't know why my dreams about TAI are always set in malls. Maybe the guys like to shop? Anyway. Billvy decided to go find the other guys and told us to keep an eye out for his cell phone, which he'd apparently lost. Later, Sarah, Trish and I spotted the phone in the lost and found. Trish knew it was his because she remembered him using it in the podcast. So we took it to give back to him. I was excited for the chance to snag his number and to sneak mine into his contacts, especially since the dream implied that we had kissed at some point. Sadly I did not get to experience that part of the dream; I just sort of vaguely remembered it happening. But for some reason, I didn't get his number right away, and when I asked Trish for the phone the next day, she said she had already given it back. =(

There is a fire alarm going off in another building, and its sound causes me severe distress. I've always hated alarms, but now I have all the more reason to. Why? Because the computer I busted on account of the last fire alarm is going to cost me 700 frickin dollars to repair.

So this evening, I was innocently working on an article for the school newspaper, the Tartan, in my room. It was about how the lounges in my dorm got turned into five-person rooms.

All of a sudden the fire alarm starts going off! And I was pissed, because I really hate getting interrupted when I'm working. Not wanting to break the flow of my writing, I decided I would take my work to Jess and Sarah's apartment until the hubbub died down. So I shut the computer and headed for Bromley, which is right next door to my building.

But apparently when I shut the computer, the plug from the power cord was inside of it. So the next time I opened the computer, the whole left side of the screen was just.... blackness and random stripes of color, with this ominous black spidery shape in the bottom corner. I freaked out and rebooted it, which only made the problem worse: now I could see nothing but my dock in the one functional stripe of screen.

I wanted to save my documents on a flash drive so I could finish the article and make the deadline, which was midnight. But I couldn't see enough of Finder to locate it, let alone drag and drop it to an external storage device. There was nothing for it. Sarah and I got in the car and booked it to the Apple store at the North Shore Mall.

I wrapped the compy in my rain coat so the rain wouldn't get it wet (sacrificing my own dryness for the baby...) and ran into the mall. Poor Sarah could hardly keep up. I was panicked, I couldn't help myself. I strode into the Apple Store and the guys in the back were immediately like, "Oh no. Is it alive?" Which was actually rather funny. The whole interaction with them was really funny, but I think I was mostly laughing out of panic. Because it turns out this whole mess is going to cost me anywhere from $380-$1200 to fix.

More panic ensues as I try to think of ways to scrape more money out of my babysitting job and writing for the Tartan. Just when I thought I was going to make it through the semester with no financial stress, this had to hit me. I'm just praying that it's a best case scenario. $400, I can afford. It'll suck, but I can do it. Sorry, Gill and Nathan, this means I will not be coming to Pennsylvania with you guys this semester. Suckfest, I know. What can I do?

Why must I break everything??? This is why we can't have nice things. I don't want to have to call my dad and tell him I broke something else. It's not that he'll be mad. He's always really chill about me messing stuff up. I just feel like the biggest loser, like he'll be so disappointed in me when he hears about it. At least all the data is safe, and I got my articles saved onto a jump drive, and I rescued all the material related to The Broken Sword. It's just the screen. If I really can't afford to fix it, I'll rent an external monitor from somewhere and use it as a desktop until I have the money. It's just that... leaving it there was like leaving my firstborn child with strangers. I'm thinking it might be healthy for me to be rid of it for a while if I'm looking at it like a human baby.... o_O

The best part of the whole scenario was the Apple store guy telling me and Sarah to go buy a couple drinks and relax about the whole thing. To which Sarah responded, laughing, "she's nineteen." And the guy goes, "underage drinking is cool. Especially on campus." We just laughed harder and said, "not on our campus....." I did get a steamer at the little cafe under Chase hall, though. They were out of menthe. I sort of had a moment of helpless confusion because what else am I supposed to order at Claymore besides my beloved mint chocolate steamer? I got a chocolate hazelnut one instead. It was mediocre. Or maybe that was just my life.

Writing for the Media:
"Suzanne, will you read next please?"
"I'm Amanda."
"Oh....."
It's okay. I'm used to it. My mom's friends all think I'm "Sue" when I answer the phone.

Poetry:
Stevick didn't photocopy my poem with the rest of the class's, which I wouldn't mind except I don't want him to think I never turn anything in, and I didn't email the first assignment. I didn't know we were supposed to. I didn't read the email asking for it until after class let out. So I was extra careful to send this one in plenty of time for the deadline, and somehow...... it still disappeared.

I had a 3 hour class at 9:45, which let out after an hour and a half, which was how long it took us to go over the syllabus. The whole time I stared at this kid who looked like Sisky (from The Academy Is...) and tried not to laugh that his name was Bill..... same as the lead singer for TAI. =3

In my time off I drew a new map of Myriad that worked out better with the storyline I mapped out last night. It also showed more details and names of places on the mainland.




Then I had Media Writing, 1:15-2:50. Then Poetry, 3:00-5:00. Next I'm going to my applied Communications meeting, which is essentially the same as film club but I get credit for it. That's from 5:45-7ish. I was supposed to brainstorm ideas for a documentary this summer. Didn't do it. I'm not big on documentaries. As Robby has said, real life is just so boring! "There aren't any werewolves!" But last night I thought of something that would make a really interesting documentary: synaesthesia! Remember when I went on and on about that last spring? There's a documentary I'd enjoy working on!

At 9 I'm going to the meeting about the school paper. I'm not a noobie so I don't have to, but I want to make sure nothing's changed since last year, and I want to meet my editor in person.

I'll sleep well tonight.

I’ll put the emphasis on the evidence, begging for the proof.
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I asked God for the chance to do things wrong. I wanted to come to him the way “real” sinners do, desperately needing his redemption. This was probably foolish of me, but it was what it was, and I wanted it. Because if one does nothing wrong one’s whole life, then one does not need God, and I wanted to need him. I wanted to feel that need for him. And then I wanted to feel anything at all, and that led me to do things wrong. Isn’t it funny how God can give us exactly what we ask for?

I am only a small, lost little girl. The older I get, the littler I realize I am. I realize that I am not going to grow any bigger, and I am not going to find my way. Sometimes I’ve wondered if there is even any way to find. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about a world in which God did not exist. In some ways it would be liberating: We could do whatever we wanted, no guilt! The Bible says this isn’t true freedom, but in a world without God, what the Bible said wouldn’t matter. I am not saying this is the right way to look at things, only one way to look at them. I do not think it is the right way.

I’ve been feeling aimless since I started thinking like this. In a world without God, what am I supposed to live for? What’s left that even matters? Love? But then, without God, what is love? Do we expect to love by ourselves? We can’t do it. Most people in our culture don’t even believe in love anymore. The young and idealistic do. The couples celebrating their fiftieth anniversary do. But so many of those in between just can’t fit it into the routine functioning of the world. They just don’t see it there. And without God, there is nothing to see.

Here is what it comes down to. I cannot cope with a world devoid of love, and I do not wish to cope with a world devoid of God. There are things I can never see with my eyes, but it wouldn’t be faith if I could. Anyone can believe their eyes. It takes something different to believe your heart. I am still learning this. Sometimes I am still dumbfounded by what my God has done. I am human. Perhaps I am wrong. But I would rather be happy than right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The essence of prayer is song, and man cannot live without a song." ~ Heschel

Savior
He can move the mountains.
My God is mighty to save.
Forever
author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave.
Jesus conquered the grave.

Today, stuff happened. Nothing monumental or anything. I didn't win the lottery or meet my future husband or anything. But I ate Thai food. Then Trisha's car failed at life and her mom came to put in new brake fluid, which did nothing to solve the problem so she called AAA. Meanwhile, Thai food had been lunch at like 1:30, and it was now 4:30, and Chris demanded my presence at her house. Well, I say that like it was forceful, but she's too cute to be forceful. I guess some people were over there and I HAD said I would go, but I was a little bit stranded. So then we took the car Trisha's mom had come in, which was actually her father's car, and yeah it was complicated but basically the only functional car that Trish is supposed to drive got taken on a road trip by her dad and her brother, so us taking this one was kind of a no-no. She dropped me off at Chris's house and junkfoodage and videogamage ensued. And stickerage!! Oh my god she has soooo many stickers! Sparkly ones, squishy ones, and all of them adorable because they were Japanese. So we put them all over EVERYTHING. Phones, iPods.... My iPod now looks like this:




Oh and at Chris's house I discovered some wonderful items of life. She had a Picchu soap dispenser. A SOAP dispenser! I want one! And a Totoro washcloth hanging up in the bathroom. Send me to Japan, please.

Then I got Rob to drop me off at Trisha's house for our "unbirthday" celebration. My birthday is in 2 weeks, but this will cover it since we won't see each other again before then. So I got birthday presents AND unbirthday presents. AWESOME! And I got her this splitter from the Apple store. It lets you plug in up to 5 pairs of headphones, or a second iPod so you can create mixes, which is one of her favorite things to do. So that was her unbirthday present. She made me a 30-page coloring book using scenes from The Academy Is... Television. It's fantastic. And she crocheted me a purple penguin named Mochi and bought me Japanese candy and a sweet keychain and wallet from Korea. She's so elaborate about birthdays. I'm totally not that cool. I don't have a ton of money OR time on my hands, which makes things difficult. But I shall remember that she deserves an awesome birthday present this year. Something homemade, I think. Like that Anime card I promised her forever ago. All right, way to be a lamesauce friend, Mandii. -_-

My sister and I went to Derby Street so I could buy a book for school and an unbirthday present for Trisha. Then my dad came and met up with us for dinner. On the way home, my dad was ahead of me most of the way. I was glad of this because I hate driving in front of my parents. I feel like they'll judge my driving. He was going kind of fast, and I started to worry that he was testing me, like if I kept up then he'd lecture me about going too fast or something. Finally I lost him at a stop sign and I just sort of let him get ahead. But then I went by this turn-around spot by the side of the road, and he was pulled over in it, waiting for me to go by. I was like ohhhhh shoot. Now he's going to follow me to make sure I don't speed. *Slows down even more.* Then I lost him, and I started to wonder what exactly he thought he was doing.

Turns out he noticed the car behind me tailing me. I didn't, because I'm used to people being that close behind me, since I drive relatively slow for a Massachusetts driver. Well, he started tailing that person so close that the guy pulled over and got out of the car and started yelling at him. My dad was like "Oh yeah? Well YOU were tailgating that person." The guy kept denying it. My dad finally goes, "Look, that's my daughter, all right? And if I have to get out of this car, it will not be pretty. So get in your car, and drive away, and stop tailing people."

Yesterday evening, I went out in search of purple. And boy, did I find it. I bought purple skinny jeans, and they actually fit. This is a rarity, as my legs are much too long to fit into regular-sized jeans. Usually it's like, "hmm, I've got to wear some sick socks with this since they're going to show." So I got those. And black skinny jeans, since they were only $20 a pop and I might as well stock up since I've found a make that fits right. Thennnnn, walking by Journeys, I was sort of rubbernecking the store to see if there was anything of interest, and lo and behold.... *angels singing, heavenly spotlight* A PAIR OF PURPLE CHUCKS, which I have zealously sought for about three years now. Apparently they went quickly, because the only pair they had left were men's 7s/women's 9s, which is ONE size too small for me. But I crammed my feet in them, wanting them to fit more than the evil stepsisters wanted that glass slipper to fit, and they were all right, so I bought them. There goes the hundred dolla bill I used in that fake rap video Trish and I made. A Franklin well spent.

A stereotypical MySpace photo of my new skinny jeans, scene shirt and purple chucks.


^ wtf??? Why does it say "Do fish get thirsty?" under my picture??

Here's a funny story from life. Today my dad played in a golf tournament at the club he belongs to, and according to my mom, he golfed with "an attractive 23-year-old guy from Arizona who was really good." Which sort of implies that he wanted to set me up with said golfer - I mean, purely based on the language. The fact that it would even cross his mind to think of said golfer in such a way (age, level of attractiveness) implies SOMETHING. It was just... really strange, because when it comes to guys, I always get the impression that my dad never wants to have to share me with one.

THREE DAYS TIL ARIZONA!!!

..........like the fluffy white seeds of a fuzzy dandelion blooming in fast motion.

I was planning on taking a road trip later this summer. The plan was that me and another girl from my area would fly to Phoenix to meet up with my sister, I mean friend, Sarah Mac. We'd stay with her for a few days and then make our way back across the country to school in MA. And it was really getting close. We were finalizing routes, making hotel reservations, etc. And then the other girl backed out. Now, I'm not going to write anything angry or mean or rude or insensitive about it, because we can't change it, and I can't judge her entire character based on what seems to be a poorly thought out decision (she'd already had Sarah buy her plane ticket and everything). I don't know the circumstances. I hardly even know her. I'm frustrated, but I can't hate her for it.

The good news is that I'm still going. It'll only be for a week or so. But we'll make it to California, and maybe even Colorado, both of which we'd cut from the original itinerary to save time and gas. We might be able to go to Disney for free. The most important plan that I just decided right now is that we're going to go to the Warped Tour AGAIN. Because it'll be in Cali for five days, and I will be in Cali for those same five days. I haven't talked to Sarah about it, but I think I might have to demand it. You know what we should do? We should follow the Warped Tour. I've always wanted to do that. How flippin awesome would that be??? Oh my god. I can't even.... I'm starting to have a minor heart attack just thinking about how awesome that would be.


News: Part I of "The Broken Sword," my fantasy novel, is complete. I am currently also working on a few short stories, one about a haunted mattress, one about a job that eats your soul, and one about rogue insects invading my garage. I'm sure you're all looking forward to reading the finished products.


Here: A survey that I am currently working on but am too lazy to complete beyond the first like 8 questions at the moment.

SUUUURVEEEEEY

Favorite vegetable
Favorite fruit
Favorite kind of cheese
Favorite topping to put on a pizza
Favorite salad dressing
Favorite ice cream base
Favorite topping to put on ice cream
Why are all these questions about food?
Favorite flower/plant
Favorite color

My answers: avocado, banana, havarti, green peppers and onions, poppyseed, vanilla or mint, oreos or reeses, because I am a fat child at heart, Kwanzan flowering cherry tree, and orange.

I've begun this RIDICULOUS project. Yes, RIDICULOUS. I mean, you'd think starting work on a five-book series would be defined as ridiculous, but at this point, that just feels normal. My ridiculous project is making a purse....... Out of embroidery thread. If you've ever made friendship bracelets, I'm sure you're gaping in horror at how much string, time, and frustration this is going to cost me. But I'm doing it. Here are some pictures of the beginning of it.










On a side note, there's a nice thunder storm happening outside. The only downside is that it's dark enough to be 8:00 at night. But we need the rain likeheckyeah because the air has been too hot and humid to inhale, and I personally really enjoy storms.

Holy crap. Since I wrote the sentence about it being dark, it got even darker. By a LOT. Scary. BA-BOOOOOOOOOM!!

Day II:

We browsed around the outlets in North Conway. I find that a good technique for shopping is to have a specific goal in mind. If you just go to shop, you’ll end up wasting money on things you don’t really need. Trish and I tried this at the festival on the common – that’s when lots of artists all come together to sell their crafts at ridiculous prices. I mean, for the materials and the time invested I’m sure the prices make sense, but they’re ridiculous for anyone not living on the Jerusalem Rd. side of the train tracks. So we decided to scour the different tents for anything that reminded us of Miyazaki movies, and that deterred me from buying jewelry that I would never end up wearing. So I’ve been on the lookout for purple Chucks and the soundtrack to Castle in the Sky, and I focused on trying to find those things. No dice. But the only thing I bought was a new belt to replace the one I lost this spring, and it was on sale. And the money I saved is going towards my plane ticket to Arizona!

Then we drove back down Rte. 16 to a ropes course we noticed on the drive up. It seemed that even my mom would be up for the challenge until everyone saw just how high off the ground we would be, and just how far we would have to free-fall if we slipped and the double rope, double karabiner ties should [somehow] break. Sammy and I were still up for the challenge, though. We geared up and had to go through the hassle of learning how to work the karabiners and the right way to transfer them from one cable to another. Which isn't a bad thing to learn, but I've climbed before so it seemed redundant.

Finally they let us on the course. The sun was beating down; it must have been 85 or 90 out there. Better that than rain, I guess. I tried all three levels and had a blast, though a few of the elements forced me to use muscles I forgot I had. But we both pulled through the blood, sweat and tears. Well, there wasn’t actually any blood, but I sweated a lot, and there were very nearly some tears because of a challenge on the third level.
It comprised two swinging platforms with three loops for your hands in between. So the principle was simple: pretend you’re five years old again, doing the monkey bars… and maybe knock forty or so feet off your altitude, since you’re already pretending. I guess my imagination was a little crippled that day, because I couldn't bring myself to step off the platform. One of the guys working there was trying to be really encouraging, offering advice and such. Finally I snapped, “I don’t even KNOW you!” And then I felt like a jerk, because he’d only been trying to help.

So I clutched the loop in my sweaty hands (it was wrapped in plastic, so my main concern was that my grip would slide) and took the jump. I think I would have let go, because of the sweat and because, well, lets just say that, if a guy who’s ripped has “guns,” I’ve probably got peashooters for arm muscles. Or plastic straws with spit balls. But I actually landed on something other than air: I was standing the cable for the element below me! I couldn't help laughing. For once, being tall came in handy. And I shuffled my way right to the next platform like, No biggie.

Thankfully, the last part was a long zip line, just like the one at Young Life camp in Saranac. That was easy: all I had to do was sit.

And then we bought some ice cream.

And then I found five dollars.

And then I shot him.

The end.

On various topics.....

1. Today at work, Robby and I decided that we'd make it look like I was carrying all the boxes - big, small, long, heavy, whatever - until his mom mentioned it. Usually she does if she sees me carrying anything. It's not like I mind; I work for her and I definitely don't have a problem with doing "physical labor." So I folded and boxed like 15 flags and brought them all upstairs while Rob carried a little box of plastic pieces, but she didn't say anything. Then we attached a bunch of flags to poles and rolled them up, and when we got upstairs I took the ones Rob was carrying. His mom turned around and said, "Rob!! Did you make Amanda carry ALL of those??" Score.

2. It's true when Tristram says he will do almost anything (except give Robby alcohol without Robby's knowledge). He and Charles told me about double and triple blitzing shotgun. So after we all ate at BK, we went out to the car, and Tristram called shotgun. I, not believing he would really triple blitz, did a handstand and called double blitz. But when I turned around, there was Tristram in his boxers. Dag, yo. And the sad thing is that I can never, ever beat him. Ever. There is nothing that beats a triple blitz..... and I sure don't plan on dropping my pants. Although it would be flipping hilarious to catch them all off guard one day. Bahahaha

3. While we were eating, Tristram tried to tell me the tomatoes were diseased, but I never believe anything he says so I was going to eat them anyway until Robby told me it was true. Then I panicked, because I was on a diet last week and I ate a PINT of cherry tomatoes every day. But I guess it was only fake tomatoes (i.e. one's at fast food places). What a relief.

4. After dinner, I picked up two of my friends from youth group, Austin and Steph, and we shmoozed around Derby Street for a while, SICKPIEing. We stopped every so often to stare at the sky. The point of this was to confuse people and make them look at the sky. Steph said, "What is that? It looks like a cross between Abe Lincoln and a bike tire!" (For the record.... I just lost the game..... BUT I DIDN'T WHEN SHE FIRST SAID IT! I'm making progress. Hooray.) Then I bought an ice cream cone with nothing in it and walked around licking air for a while. Some baby was like whaaaaaaa....? Steph said his eyeballs looked ready to pop out of his head. I wish I'd seen his face.

5. Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden is a really awesome song. Like really, REALLY awesome. But don't watch the music video because it will give you nightmares. I couldn't watch past 30 seconds. Oh my.

I have other cool things to post about. From last week. But not now. Because right now all I want is a shower.

I think I'm short a lot of brain cells from breathing in the fumes from that thinner stuff we used to clean the screen after printing flags today.

Quote of the day: "Oh! I have a really funny story about cosines!!"
(If you're wondering about the story..... I went to an appointment, and they asked me if I had a cosign..... like insurance..... But I'm thinking, "Cosine... cosine.... ~~~~~~~ Why would I have one of those?" Honestly, I might be an intelligent person, but sometimes I have NO common sense.

My room has become, like, the conquest of the spiders. Perhaps not quite as epic as Gill's telling of a similar story along the lines of The Spiders of Sparta, only because I haven't found more than two or three in a day. But uhhh, they seem to have invaded my room. Not the basement; they've always been there. Now they've infiltrated the place where I work, lounge, and worst of all, sleep: My freaking BEDROOM.

Jibbliejibbliejibblie....

Come ON, guys. Play fair.

So my mom and I moved all the furniture and vacuumed all the dust in hopes of scaring them into retreat. I hope it doesn't just anger their vast, octoleggy empire. I can almost hear their tiny armies forming in the cracks of the walls now.... They'll wait for the lights to go out........ Then, with their nunchucks and chain mail, they will strike. Because apparently spider ninjas wear chain mail. That must make stealth quite the challenge. Hmmm.... Maybe I DO stand a chance. Better arm myself with that stack of AP back-issues and a box of kleenex.

Other than the spiders, absolutely nothing happened today. I am sick of trying to make plans with people of the male persuasion. They fail. And fail. And fail again. Do they ever grow out of it? I honestly don't think so. And speaking of being baffled by men in general, I can't figure out my dad. When he got home, he seemed to be in a good mood. Then he told me to wax my car. I've never waxed a car, and I was thinking, "I don't know how... or where we keep that sort of thing.... But mom said he wished he could spend more time with me...." So I asked if he'd like to help me. And he was like "Um... No." But not just a no. More of a SHUT DOWN! kind of no. Ummmmmmmm...kay? "I'm not into washing cars. Just go to a car wash," he told me, rather shortly, I thought. Then I went upstairs. Ten minutes later I came down for a drink and he was going on about wanting to buy a power washer so we could wash ALL the cars. What????

Ahhh, moving right along.

Oh yes. While I'm thinking about it, go watch the new episode of TAITV. It's pretty funny. Here are some highlights.

"The Butcher? Why are there so many bands?"
"I don't know, Sisky."

"If I don't film you, it doesn't exist! Does that make sense?!?"

"I AM GOING TO FIND MICHAEL GUY CHISLETT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!!"

And on that note, I should stop putting off working on my book. I'm so lame. At this rate I'll have to hire a slave-driver if I ever want to make any progress on this thing.

Today, my friend informed me that she misses reading my LiveJournal. Tis true I have not posted in quite a while. You know, that was all I needed to hear - that someone was actually reading it. I just wanted to know *sob* that somebody cared. Ahem. So. This post is a prelude to whatever I decide to post next.... Even though I have no idea what that may be, because lately I haven't been writing poetry and short fiction. Just a novel. And I'm not leaking bits of that onto the internet. No way.

So perhaps I'll just write about my ridiculous life. I mean really, with my friends, there's never a dull moment. Some of them built robot suits and had a battle tonight, and after, a bunch of us made s'mores and went to the playground because we rock like that. You know what I never noticed before? That train tracks make really scary noises right before and after the train comes. It's like.... SHALING SHALING..... like a sword being drawn, or magic in a movie that has really lame computer-generated sound effects. I wonder if that's just vibrations, or if there's some sort of electricity involved.... I just don't know. It is one of life's unfathomable mysteries. Unless you build tracks for the MBTA; then you might know the answer.

You know what else I wonder? What does "Jet-Puffed" Marshmallows mean? And don't tell me that they "puffed them with a jet," because that's the lamesauce answer. Part of me probably doesn't want to know. It's probably a lot more fun imagining the ways they could puff a mallow with a jet. Maybe they have a factory full of all these jets, and they've got devices that focus the exhaust into these little balls of sugar and suddenly - PUFF! Eeeewww. No wonder I didn't want to think about this too hard. Maybe they just have a system for puffing marshmallows every time they fly a jet; you know, just..... skewer them next to the engine and..... All right, this is getting too weird for me. I seriously don't want to eat marshmallows anymore. I'm going to read Narnia. Good night.

Wow..... That was actually a legitimate length for a post. I feel awesome. Oh, LJ, how I missed thee....

La la la
I'm coming home tomorrow!
I mean tonight!
Good thing. I only have $6 left on my meal card.

My room looks so sad and lonely without all the posters and clutter. Everything is in boxes. It feels so existential and surreal. A whole year of college! It's gone! Where did it go?? I've heard time only speeds up from here on in. How unfortunate that high school took a short lifetime to complete, and college goes by in a week!

I found all these old drawings and crappy poems I wrote in high school. Digging through the strata of another life. That's not me anymore. And yet it is. I feel like 2007 was the year of the real me. 2008 has not measured up so far. I need summer to re-define myself.

One more day. One more test. One more assignment to turn in. One more meal in Lane. One more hug goodbye for all my favorite people.







On a side note, moving is great fodder for creative thinking and writing. I hope I can find some time for that tomorrow.

Tuesdays are supposed to be my productive day. Let's just leave it at the fact that I accomplished little to nothing today. I can't even remember what I did for most of the day. I do know that I fought with the Canon GL1 that I got from Barrington for about an hour and a half this morning, because it was supposed to be compatible with my computer but I couldn't import the videos. In fact, the computer would not even acknowledge the presence of the camera. I feel like they must have had quite the past in some other life. Maybe they dated and the break-up was just really, really awful and now they can't stand to speak to each other, as if by snubbing one another, the awkwardness would go away. That must be it.

Anyway, I went to the lab in Barrington tonight, hoping I would find someone there who could help me, or at least try a different firewire cable or import to a different computer with a different OS. Thankfully, Tom was in there, and he helped me sort things out. Turns out the camera I had borrowed was the unlucky number four - i.e., it doesn't capture when you hook it up to the computer. So we put the tape in a different camcorder and everything worked out fine. Thank goodness. Although I got really scared for a minute there because it looked like I only had about 30 seconds of footage, which was me trying to figure out how to work the sound on the camera, and we had recorded about half an hour's worth of video.

But no worries! Everything is on my lappy now, and ready to be sorted and edited. That Tom is a computer genius man. Let's do a dance for the computer genius man. Or at least buy him a Nutella latte from Claymore (which I did).

Then I got back to my room and was about to do my last load of laundry before break when Lauren, my next-door neighbor, came in to ask if I knew anything about cameras, because she couldn't get the one she'd borrowed from CET (the center for educational technology) to communicate with her computer. >_<

And no, it was not unlucky number four again.... It didn't even use a firewire port. I almost wish it HAD been number four. At least I know how to deal with that one. But I was at a loss. I hope she figured it out all right.

Oh, the irony....

Sarah: let's play the state game.
Mandii: umm..... Charizard. NO! That's my groin slash ovaries!
Sarah: I'm pretty sure your ovaries are up here.
Mandii: then it's my groin.
Sarah: I'm pretty sure you don't have a groin.
Mandii: wrong!!
Sarah: What have you been hiding from me??!!
Mandii: the real reason heather moved out is......
Sarah: eewwww!!!!

Moving right along....

Many things happened today. And yet, nothing at all really happened until dusk had fallen. I went to evening chapel, which I always do when it's offered because it's more worship-centered than regular chapel. Even though I have a sort of love-hate relationship with the band, I generally enjoy hearing them play, even though they usually pick songs I don't know. I've really gained an appreciation for traditional hymns while here. Everybody knows them, and if you don't, well hey, the music is there in the hymnal for you to sightread, so no problem. I mean, it's not like contemporary worship songs are hard to pick up (far from it), but always focusing on learning the proper tune distracts me from the purpose of worshipping.

Tonight was just like any other night in that respect, but I still found myself drawing really close to God. I just sort of allowed the waves of music to wash over me and focused on feeling God's presence instead of trying to decipher the melody that matched the words on the screen - which, I might add, were more about "me" and how God made "me" feel and made "my" life better. This tendency in contemporary worship is another reason that I'm starting to prefer hymns. But words aside, and the fact that the praise band played fantastically tonight aside, and really, the fact that I was in a room filled with people aside, I was just drawn in.

And then they had this prayer up on the screen about calling yourself things like "rejected" when God has "adopted and accepted" you, and I just started crying - not sad tears at the reminder of my recent rejection, but happy tears that the same rejection had set me up to feel so vastly loved by God in a way that I can't remember feeling ever before. I found myself kneeling during the last song, before which most of the others had left. I forgot that I was in a classroom in the basement of the library, that anyone else was in the room at all, and that people had to be making that music that continued to move me even after the prayer. It was beautiful. And all I could do was cry, and pray in my head over and over, "Thank you, Jesus. Thank you."

After that moving spiritual experience, I met up with John, a friend I met during Winter Retreat, to play guitar. He's just learning to play, and wanted me to show him some stuff, which I did to the best of my ability, but I don't consider myself an expert by any stretch of the imagination, nor am I really a teacher - that's my mom. It was fun, regardless, and we did work our way through a couple of praise songs (which I chose specifically because of their simplicity). I borrowed Andrew Piercey's acoustic guitar because I only have my electric on campus. It's much slimmer than mine and has a better cutaway. I'm sort of jealous. Shh, but don't say anything about it to my acoustic guitar. She's pretty. But overweight.

John and I laughed about my chord book being from 1977. Then we realized that it was 10:00 and we weren't allowed to be in my room anymore because visitation hours ended at 10, so we hurriedly packed up everything and went to find somewhere else to play. But there were people in my lounge, so we checked the first floor. And the classroom in the basement. And the sketchy-ish smaller classroom in the basement. ALL were being used! Then we found an open storage room filled with chables (those chairs with desks attached) that looked about as old as my chord book, stacked precariously enough to avalanche at any moment. Perfect.

But we had just set up camp and started playing when Maddie came in, looking bewildered, and asked if the room had been open when we got there, then told us we shouldn't be in there and suggested we go play in a lobby somewhere (even though I'm pretty sure there are rules against hanging out and making noise in the lobbies). Because clearly the reason we were in there was because we wanted to make out, right? The guitars were just a cover. Obviously. So we went and sat on the hard floor in the basement lobby and played there. Curse those visi-freakin-tation rules, BAH!

We were joined by Andrew (not Piercey) and Sarah Mac, and we all played and sang some random praise songs and the one from Juno, "Anyone Else but You." I think we did a better job with it than the recording on the soundtrack (not very hard to do). I don't particularly like the original, either. But it's a really cute song, and really easy to play! We got some food at Claymore and said good night.

Then Sarah and I launched an idea we had all talked about between songs, which was starting a movement to break social norms - do things like stage a musical in Lane, or be a close-talker for a day. Things that would mess with other people and make them feel awkward, you know? We created a Facebook group called SICK PIE, which is an acronym for Spontaneous Infringement of Cultural Kustoms, Paradigms, Institutions and Expectations (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=28588915550). So far we have about six members, which is impressive considering that the group is barely an hour old, and it's the middle of the night - how many people do you really think are chilling on Facebook when there are things to do, like cramming, or sleeping? So I'm pretty stoked to have this excuse to make a complete arse out of myself... just so long as SICK PIE gets big and backs me up! I think we should make stickers featuring our group picture (a piece of pumpkin pie saying, "I put vegetables in your piiieeeee!")

Going to sleep now. I may not have class until 11:25, but I was sort of hoping to get breakfast at Lane since, you know, I haven't bought food for my room since before break. I was going to get some on the way back up, but Sarah and I hitched a ride with Joe, so my parents weren't there to take me grocery shopping. Sad day. Now I have no food. Almost literally. Depending on when I wake up tomorrow and whether the dining hall is still open, it may soon become very painfully literal.

Thankfully, I did manage to finish my ten poems. Just BARELY. I still have to write my paragraph responses, but luckily, I've bought myself time by consistently writing these in my writer's journal, which he has yet to collect, so I just stuck a post-it on the first page saying the responses were in my journal and am going to write them before Friday's class. My prof liked the title of the collection ("The Youniverse is Crumbling All Around Us"). I couldn't bring myself to say that that was probably the only brilliant thing about this poetry collection. I think I skipped one stipulation, too, which was editing a poem for repeated vowel sounds. I hope this doesn't have too much of an adverse impact on my grade. Although, the fact that some of the poems suck so bad they make me want to vomit might have an adverse impact on my grade.

Today was fabulous. I was worried that I would wake up from my nap and it would be dark out, but I had to take one because I had only slept 5 and a half hours on account of the poetry assignment. It was the best nap I've ever taken. I actually fell asleep and had dreams! This simply does not happen to me during the day. I'm not a good napper. And the slightest sound can wake me up - mostly voices, actually, but there are a lot of those in my paper-walled hallway, so usually a nap means futilely laying in my bed with my eyes shut until I get too bored. For instance, if I wanted to sleep right now, I would probably have to set up camp in the study room, because a couple of girls who live down the hall are in their room screeching, as usual. They aren't fighting. It's just how they talk. Sometimes I just want to screech SHUT THE MUCK UP back down the hall, but I kind of think it wouldn't make a difference. Especially since they'd probably just laugh at me (screechingly) for using the word "muck" instead of a rhyming alternative.

Anyway, when I woke up from my nap two hours later, it was still broad daylight, so I threw on a long skirt and took a looooong walk in the woods. I have to say that I didn't want to come back. It was so glorious outside today. The sunlight was beautiful. (Oh man, all I have to do is vaguely reference the song "Daylight" to get teeny tiny chills up my spine. Ahaha.) Trish said I was turning into Henry David Thoreau for being in the woods. I was deeply insulted. But if I start telling y'all about how much I spent on branches to build my treehouse with Taz or something like that, please virtually shoot me in the head. Thanks.

Because I don't want to actually do it, so instead I will post a list of what I need to accomplish in the next 24 hours.

Edit CCC paper and read Mountains Beyond Mountains
Write 9-15 poems, all using the words "moonlight," "photo," "silver," and "hair."
Read Galatians and ch. 14 of "Introducing the New Testament"
Schedule an appointment with my advisor about classes next semester (which I still have to choose from the program)

And it would be great if I could do a little journaling and guitaring somewhere in all that, but what are the odds of it happening? Not very good. Ho hum. At least I will enjoy writing the poems.

VVV If anybody noticed the new location.... they changed our room numbers over break. It really confused me when I got back. Sarah and Jess have my old room number. At least I know they'll be keeping it real in there. ^_^

Clearly I have too much fun in the dining hall. Aside from the ice cream shots, I also ninja-snatch the rubber gloves by the sandwich line every time I want to dye my hair.

I'm posting random things because I'm ridiculously bored because my 11:25 class got spontaneously cancelled when the professor decided not to show up because of the stomach flu, and didn't really give anyone any advance warning. So I could be doing something productive now, but instead, I'm not. Haha Andrew adapted my statement the other day as the summary of his life: "I was going to take a walk earlier, but then I fell asleep." Too true.

I'm bummed because I have nothing to do this weekend. Most of my friends have made plans not involving me or are having visitors that I do not know. I wanted to go to Gill's party, but transportation is an issue, and she can't get the car at all this weekend, so that makes things difficult. Something about the apartment becoming a tundra, I don't know. She and everyone at her birthday party tonight were going to come up to my school and spend the night, which would have been sick-nasty or something like that, but again, the car was not available and no one else going wanted to drive all the way here. Hmm. I want to watch StrongBad e-mails. That was random. I was thinking about Teen Girl Squad. I don't know. I'm tired okay? It hurt trying to get out of bed this morning. The music that is my alarm clock hurt. I was going to get up before 8 and do sit-ups. Didn't happen. Why wasn't I this tired when I should have been going to bed last night? I was totally amped and awake until one-ish.

Haha soooo speaking of last night. I went to help film some interviews and such for Golden Goose, which, in a nutshell, is the Mr. Skipper of Gordon College - i.e., boys' talent show. It's supposed to be a riot. As a freshman, I've never been, but I don't doubt this. It was funny though, because most of the people I work with at Go-film are guys, and, of course, all of the contestants in the male talent show were, you guessed it, male. Basically I saw like one other female the whole time I was there. And it made me laugh. I won't reveal any of the things we filmed, because they're probably supposed to be top secret. But I will say that we got some great interview footage, and boys, your choreographed dance moves look fantastic.

I would like a hug, please. I totally miss random cuddle-fests. How come no one cuddles around here? Except for boys with boys and girls with girls, and not because we're all flaming homosexuals, just because... I have no idea why. But there are not that many gay people at my Christian liberal arts school.

This is in response to Gill's comment on my last post. For some reason I can't get it to post as a reply. If you are not Gill, you can ignore this.

i definitely want to make it the next big thing around here.

boo, get your own format. because the cute little grim reaper is not up for public use. hahaha and by that i mean that i got it from the free layouts page. ^_^

my 11:25 class got cancelled. i have until 1. maybe i'll do my hair now. except sarah wanted to do hers, too. but i kind of want people to see it before it fades, and no one will see it this weekend.

[/end reply to Gill's comment on my last post.]


Hooray! I am going to lunch. I have a lunch buddy! How exciting!! =D